Hazy Acres

Oddly, I woke up filled with a rush of thoughts on a day when we could assume we are suppose to be grateful, maybe those two things can live together and I’m suffering from expectations. Automatically, I believed it would mean I felt lighter or more at peace. I feel shook and filled with imbalance. I feel alone, afraid, confused, pissed, and courageous. Everything is loud and ready to burst. Listening to my soul speak “do a sound bath”. It wasn’t this one. And it took me a few moments to settle in, it was extremely difficult to hold steady for the 30 minute journey I found. Once I did, my body was dead weight and I saw images inviting me in further, I saw my own face in a black hood, I saw wild black hair dancing around me, in a wind. I felt myself fall further into an endless space. Waves of silhouettes, sounds of my children’s giggles faintly mixing in from where I was going, the presence of my dog laying next to me as if she could feel where my energy is today. I allowed the present world to mingle with the outer world. It made sense in the way I have no idea if it’s real, but it felt real. And I felt lifted away, pushing through the moments when I wanted to freak out and run. These tools however small in their actions to make the choice to engage, help me. And they continue to, when I accept them, which is to say I accept what my intuition is telling me to. Trusting my true nature and believing that we can communicate with ourselves if we allow ourselves their rightful place to be. I’m grateful for this moment and that’s all I have to be grateful for. I am grateful for so many things, everyday. Today is no different. But I will honor the ceremony and the rituals I am a part of. And I will say hello to the things that are no longer while welcoming the energy that is asking me to pick it up and have faith. You don’t have to be happy today, be yourself no matter what that looks like, feels like, sounds like…BE YOU.